I thought I was almost celebrating for being 90% if not 85% myself when I suddenly felt a strange twitch after a series of anxiety attacks.
Maybe the flare was triggered by flute, anxiousness of getting some work quickly done, or the anger caused by reminiscing a past hurtful event again.
I am not too sure of which as the causative agent but one thing I know- my emotion rules my body, dominates my pelvic region.
I tried to relax my muscles over the past 3 weeks but in vain. As if it was not bad enough , my insomnia is back too after several months of disappearance. My anxiety level went fr level 9 to 10, I thought I am doomed this time. I dread to see my urologist/PT but I knew it was inevitable this time. But guess what? She is away and won't be back until 2nd Jan 2014. I find it hard to digest the fact that I will have days to tolerate this thing.
Can I wait till then? I don't know. I hope so. I have to. I have no solution now except myself . It's extremely tough to fight what you have are two empty hands and a tired brain. My brain resides back to my bladder once again...
Nope . I am not going to succumb to this stupid illness. I still have my kids, my husband, my family. They re my strength. Love will put me thru this tough stage... I am sure of . Life is not bed of roses, I have to accept that there will be setbacks now and then . I do not want to appear like an inflated balloon infront of my kids. They deserve my time , my affection, my time and attention. I have my duty to fulfil despite my discomfort. Yes it's only a discomfort, it's not killing me. I have not lost a single flesh or bone, why should I cry? There are so many people who are suffering worst conditions.
Brave yourself Valerie! You can do it. You will overcome this as you have in the past. Nothing should take away your courage to overcome this. I can do it!
